Oh, Julia, that sounds so painful. It's bad enough when guys "rubber band" back and forth because they can't commit, but hoovering you back in as you were trying to move on is straight up manipulative.
I'm so sorry you went through that, but props to you for choosing YOU and doing what you needed to do for your own happiness. I had to do the same with an ex who was in my life for many years because having him around was just making me miserable.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading and for this heartfelt response. It means a lot!